bogey & ruby

bogey & ruby

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Things I've Learned This Week

(Reposted from a facebook note written November 14th, 2012.)

1.  That I CAN eat a combination of cauliflower and onions without exploding, as long as it is deep fried in spicy batter by dad, flattened with a spatula by mom and consumed during the festival of lights.

2.  According to the girl with the flawless skin at the cosmetics counter, toner is for EVERYONE, not just the young and beautiful. Still, I resist, having only recently started "cleansing" my face with gentle foaming washes after years of abuse with soap.

3.  I have been misspelling karaprosad. I looked it up and found a whole Wikipedia description. Apparently, refusing to eat "karah parshad" might be considered insulting to some Sikhs.  Well, I won't be offended if you politely decline. Then again, my dad made it, not me and the alternative to refusing his karah parshad might be enough food to feed an army.

4.  It is no fun eating something fattening in the company of someone who is dieting. Sharing even one bite removes all the guilt and at least half the calories.

5.  My shih tzu has a problem with things on wheels, kids smoking pot at the park entrance, and city surveyors measuring the twilight zone at the intersection adjacent to my house, where several happy couples have disappeared lately.

6.  If I want my son to be autonomous, I have to let him go and let him do, even if it means taking ten times longer to bathe, and going to school with mismatched clothes.

7.  Acknowledging that another person's pain is greater than mine absolves me of the part I don't own.

8.  The worst thing about facing a hard truth/big fat lie/excuse in life, is the uphill trudge and drama leading up to it. Once it's been said out loud, it's okay to stop for a while and let it sink in.

9.  I am not that special. It is not always about me. But I do appreciate that people indulge me once in a while.

10.  Owning a ukelele would solve all my problems and make the world a better place.

11.  I am taking a serious break from altruism.

Peace out...xoxo
Me without toner.

Me without toner.

Call Me Stinky

This is an old post from three years ago that popped up on facebook today. I decided to archive it here.

It's anti-bullying week November 19th to November 23rd and Sean's school has organized various grade-appropriate discussions and projects. Yesterday, he watched a movie that showed examples of bullying and was quite affected by it, describing different scenarios in detail and asking me questions about them at length. He seems to be overly concerned that I might have been bullied when I was younger. Maybe he's seen pictures of me before leave-in-conditioner was invented, or presumed that because I was small like him, I was an easy target. Sure, I was called names at times, but they were mostly isolated incidents that didn't stick. In fact, I was probably my own worst enemy back then, using a combination of humour and self-deprecation to cope with my insecurities. Hey, if I say it first and make them laugh, then they're just agreeing with me, right?  Well, old habits die hard, but I honestly don't worry too much about appearances anymore except perhaps for those mid-line zit days..Which is why, when Sean told me one of his classmates called me stinky today, I laughed out loud. That is, until I saw the look on his face and heard the outrage in his voice. Apparently, calling someone's mother stinky is about as low as you can go when insulting a fellow third grader.  Not only does it suggest I have B.O., but it also insinuates that I generally suck as a person. Huh? When I was growing up, we avoided stepping on cracks out of respect for our mothers' backs. We respectfully addressed them as "Mrs. Soandso". And more often than not, we were afraid of them!  I googled "your mother is stinky" but the only thing the search engine came up with was "yo mama's so smelly jokes". Something lost in the French translation perhaps? And the insult didn't stop there, I'm afraid. Nosiree. The kid made fun of my stature and build as well. Not only am I stinky mother, but I'm short and fat as well! (This was demonstrated emphatically when my son assumed a hunched over posture and exaggerated, wide-open arm gestures.) I finally asked him who this rude kid was and how he knew me. Apparently, he had seen me at a birthday party Sean attended this past week-end. I couldn't place him, not that it matters. I mean, the kids are always a blur at these events. I did however try to remember if I showered that day and whether I'd worn three layers of fleece or four under my parka.
To make a long story short, Sean reported this boy to a teacher, the boy got a warning and now the teacher probably thinks I'm a smelly mama. I thanked him for his chivalry and tried to put the incident in perspective. People say mean things, they disappoint, they try to make us feel bad. The only power we have over them, is whether or not we choose to believe them. The rest of the discussion was on empathy for others and standing up for anyone who's being picked on or bullied, not just mom.  :)